Don't you wish your lawn looked like this?
Yeah, so do we.
SERVICES
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Mowing, Trimming, Edging & Grass/Leaf Blowing *
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Fertilization & Weed Control
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Mole Whacking & Pest Control † ‡
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Tree Pruning & Chopping Down
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Stump Removal •
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Cemetery Maintenance #
*Sorry, we do not rake or burn leaves. Or Gum balls. Or pine needles. And, we have nothing but contempt for anyone who does. Bunch of idiotic pyromaniacs
†We may haul off dead animals 1) if they are not already bloated, putrid and covered in fly larvae and 2)if the county trash compactor/transfer station is not closed (and the operator doesn't notice what we are throwing into his dumpster).
‡Ask about our stray/nuisance animal relocation/liquidation service (cat/dog relocation guaranteed at least one county distant. 'Liquidated' carcass removal subject to restriction [†2], above).
• May take ten to twenty years
# May include body disposal (body must already be dead). Ask about our They'll-Never-Find-'Em Surreptitious Burial® special. Offer void after December 25, 2024.